T'was the dankest night ever, you wouldn't believe,
We were hanging out just enjoying the eve'.
The children were finally asleep in their rooms,
And we could do something besides watch cartoons.
Mamma with her dab rig, and I with my bong,
Could sit back and chill. What could go wrong?
When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat in a cloud full of shatter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash!
Mamma took a hit and then put up the stash.
The moonlight was trippin' me out to the max
So I popped some Zoot Bites to help me relax.
Now, I may have been high, but I know what I seen,
An old V-dub bus filled with elves dressed in green!
And behind the wheel, a sweet lively old dame,
I knew it was Santa's cousin, St. Jane.
Over the sputtering engine I heard,
As she called out her strain names, each word for word!
"Northern Lights and Coogies! Green Crack and Blue Dream!
White 99, Kandy Kush, Lemon OG!
Indica, sativa, we've got it all!
Concentrates, edibles, now let's have a ball!"
As dry buds that go up in white smoke,
When they meet with my lighter and I take a toke,
Up to my house the bus slowly stopped,
And the engine backfired with a gleeful pop!
Out came the elves and St. Jane with a sack,
And I smelled through the door... Could it be Green Crack?
As Mamma and I both did double-takes,
In came St. Jane and her elves, looking baked.
They wore fuzzy green sweaters, with little red hairs,
And snowflakes, like trichomes, danced in the air.
The giant green sack in St. Jane's little hands
Looked like a 30-pound bud of Headband!
Her eyes they were bloodshot, her cheeks just as red.
"Would you get me some water, I've got cotton mouth," she said.
The elves dressed in green all nodded as one,
So I brought them some water for their hydration.
A discrete little vape-pen, she held in her mouth.
And she casually puffed as she looked all about.
Her face was kind and her laugh contagious,
I couldn't stop giggling, it was outrageous!
She plopped down on the couch, and so did the elves,
And we passed around Cavicones, helping ourselves!
After the joints and then a few bowls,
She filled our stockings with West Coast pre-rolls.
The elves said good bye, and St. Jane gave us hugs,
And they took their sack back to the good old V-dub.
With an engine backfire, St. Jane shouted out,
"Enjoy the nugs, y'all—over and out!"
Wishing you the happiest of holidays and a prosperous New Year!
Thanks for choosing 2020 Solutions and reading our blog!